Is Jesus enough?

Well, the obvious answer is...YES! Oh, how I want my heart to be there all of the time! But to the contrary, I find myself searching as if that "golden calf" will satisfy me. As Landen will be turning 1 very soon, I have reflected on the past year of my life. It feels like a whirlwind, but it's here nonetheless.

Somewhere along this journey of graduating from college, getting married, changing jobs from the hospital setting to the school setting and having a baby....I lost who I was. I found myself putting on a facade to impress those around me. I was comparing how I matched up as a mother to women who appeared to have it all together, but in reality, I did not know them at all. Yuck! Admiring creation over the one who spoke everything into creation. Looking back, probably the fear of man and my desire to "please" people guided my decision making. However, I have recently been stirred to discover myself. I read Hearts and Minds, I highly recommend it. Although the primary focus is equipping parents to raise children with a Christian worldview, it definitely spoke volumes in my own personal walk with the Lord. One of my favorite quotes, "When we are insecure in our identity as children of God, we waste time and energy trying to manage other people's impressions of us." Well, if that wasn't a big kick in the pants! I felt so guilty this past year as I was not able to stay home that I found myself wasting time and energy trying to prove that I was a good mom, translation, had it all together. This only led me to feeling defeated among the dirty dishes and piles of laundry. But, the Lord has slowly revealed....that it is the inner beauty that He looks upon. How easy I forget! This will be a long journey....I'm sure. But, may the Lord give me perseverance to not give up early as the outcome would be devastating.

I've camped out in 1 Peter for a little while and the Lord is slowly reminding me of what it means to be his child and to look to holy women of our past as an example, specifically Sarah. For although she too doubted, she put her hope in the Lord. As a result, she was not fearful, but had a gentle and quiet spirit that was submissive to the Lord as well as her husband.

So, I've been pondering....when will Jesus be enough?